I was born to catch dragons in their dens
And pick flowers
To tell tales and laugh away the morning
To drift and dream like a lazy stream
And walk barefoot across sunshine days
I love this blog and I started it with the intention of sharing my thoughts, but because I have really high standards on what it means to “write”, things got a bit messy. I feel like my writing voice is not as powerful as my everyday interaction with people (judging by the fact that a lot of people like the way I act and admire me in some way or form) and also that my everyday interaction with people is not as deep as when I write. It is hard for me to talk about things that really interest me. I feel insecure, because I am easily excited and when I am fired up about something I could talk about it for hours and I am afraid that other people won’t appreciate this. Another thing that bothers me is that when I am with people I am a lot more reactive than actually starting a conversation or setting the tone, probably because I am thinking about hundred things all at once. I would really love to figure out a way to open up and share my personality more with people and not cowering into my shell or being too self-assured (as I always tend to oscillate between extremes).
Other thing I have been thinking is that I believe “true” writers write often and write a lot. When I just want to share something small, I feel kind of guilty and add more paragraphs or I don’t publish it. I want to find a way to express my full being in what I do and I always seem to cut and censor the “bad”. This is what I am trying to do now. So, expect a lot more short posts from my confused thoughts as I want after sharing them to make you think and add your own input.
I hope 2014 is going to be a real game-changer, because I really want to make it so. We all know that resolutions only come in handy if you actually go back to them often enough to remember and take action on them. Think of resolutions as a map or gulp of fresh air – this is the moment you state where you want to go, but after pointing out the destination, you have to actually get there by taking one step at a time.
Today is kind of a special day for me, of course because of all the resolutions hype, but also because I really want to turn things around in my life. We are also blessed with the fact that it is a new moon today, which means that you get a huge bonus in having a clean and fresh start.
This year I don’t want to put up a full list like I did last year – while reviewing it I saw that there are many things that no longer inspire me or just feel so far-fetched that I feel discouraged from following through with them. I have ideas to work on some creative projects and as I am heading in a totally new direction for me it’s really hard to predict how I want this year to roll out. I actually don’t see what’s in store for me ahead. On this day I also choose a word/theme for the new year and I strive to align my decisions with it – for 2014 it is Expression. I want to have much more adventure, develop my artistic skills more and try to find a way to make passive income and not to be tied to a specific job, time or location.
These are some of my big dreams, but I think that completing smaller goals that really enhance my current way of living and actually “completing” them would be far healthier for me. So, I want to start this year by trying to tone down on sweets as I feel that this has become an addiction and also a really bad and harming habit for my health and productivity. I will try to go for a 100% quit, but knowing myself I will probably be willing to stick with such a great change if I allow myself some exceptions (or if I unintentionally eat something sugary).
This is a personal goal, but I want to invite you to share them with me. Follow my goals or create some of your own and if you feel the same need to share as I do – I would love to read your opinions; goals; progress and comments.
To a Happy New Year!
My focus shifted away from this blog mainly because when I started it I wanted to teach people and show my own thinking and the way I view the world. But in the recent months I feel that I crave more human interaction, friendship, closeness and generally someone (or a group of people) to share my journey and be a companion on theirs. I want an equal relationship and not one based on someone having all the answers and the other going there to find them. I feel like I am ready to open my own gates and let people come closer in my own world, not because I am smart, but because I am vulnerable. I have so much to give to people, but I want to give in a way that makes both parties feel better afterwards. I don’t want to give you answers, but I want to give you my focused attention so that you can reach your own answers in that creative space. I want to give you a hand not to pull you out of your misery, but to hold you while you walk in the dark and feel scared. I will not be the light that will shine your way, but I will be scared as well, but there – right next to you.
I don’t feel the need to teach. I want to learn, dance and grow with someone – side by side. I want to find my tribe – other peeps who believe in a better world without being judgmental about how other people live their lives.
Also, I want to go deeper in my own art and voice, because I want to touch so many people and go in so many different directions. I hope you will be here to see how my path enfolds.
I love to write and I hope that soon I will find a clear and honest way to do it.
With all my heart,
P.S.: Check my updated wishes list for this year here.
For years, I have been using the internet and all other media to a frightening extent. I am constantly reading, searching, consuming content up to a point that I almost want to stop doing that altogether or at least I have become a really picky and choosy customer/visitor. I think that this is a natural process, because we are all over-flooded and overloaded with content. It’s inevitable to choose more carefully what affects you and what reaches your heart. But, after that filtering mechanism you are left with the sites, blogs, causes and galleries that you truly love and support.
In this era of massive amounts of communication, especially if you can see the numbers of visitors or subscribers, it is easy to start thinking that you don’t want to be just the next person who writes a cliche comment. And this is where my plea comes. I would encourage you to do this anyway – don’t be the hidden number in a chart, show yourself to the creator and to the other people who have the same interest. Yes, maybe you will receive a thumbs down and/or a hateful comment or whatever, but just ignore that. Think about the person who spends hours and hours honing their talent and as a creator I can assure that all creative peeps have those shitty beliefs about showing our work to the world and we often think that what we do doesn’t matter, that is not as important as saving dying children in Africa or whatever.
So, please, if you like something, support it wholeheartedly – send a message, make a compliment and if you are that big of a fan donate/buy/subscribe or whatever it is that you could do.
I know it may sound simple, but I believe that this is a great way to show what we truly value. When something is valued, it is bound to become successful and we are going to create more of it in the world. Who would say “I love this artist but nahhh I don’t want him/her to have a good life and feel that what s/he does is important, then s/he is just going to create more art and I won’t enjoy that, I am satisfied with what I have seen already!”? It’s not you, I know, but basically this is what you do if you deny that person your feedback. So, even though he/she might be getting a million lovely comments, just be one of them, it’s not going to hurt you in any way and it just might turn out that your feedback makes the day a bit better for this person. Or, if the person is just starting out and getting a lot of hate…or just no feedback at all… maybe yours is going to give him/her hope to go on.
This is something I realized recently after mustering the courage to write a few messages to people whose art I really enjoy and they actually responded, but even if they didn’t I just feel good about showering them with support. Don’t forget that the person behind the screen is just a person with feelings like yourself, so support to see more of what you like.